The south is about to be invaded by this sex-crazed zombie plague.
Joe Biden’s open border policy isn’t the only thing that is making life miserable for many in the south.
Many states are about to face another invasion that will make life very unpleasant for many.
The south is preparing for an invasion of a hoard of sex-crazed zombies that will make life very unpleasant.
Billions, possibly even trillions, of a rare breed of cicadas, named Brood XIX, will soon be emerging from their underground bunkers.
Not your father’s cicadas
For 13 years, this rare breed of cicada has been gorging on underground tree roots, waiting to emerge and wreak havoc.
Fourteen states, including Arkansas, Georgia, North Carolina, Tennessee, and Virginia, are expected to see the Brood XIX cicadas, (also known as the Great Southern Brood) emerge from their 13-year rest.
And much like the time, the capital of the Confederacy prepared for the onslaught of Yankee soldiers, Richmond, Virginia, is preparing for the invasion of the “zombie” horde of cicada.
These “zombie” cicadas aren’t just any old, everyday cicadas.
It is expected that many of the Brood XIX cicadas will surface with a fungus that turns them into what CBS News calls “hyper-sexual, frantically-mating zombies that spread the fungus like an STD and keep going until their genitals fall off.”
While that may sound especially scary to many, it is estimated that only around 5% of the cicadas are infected with the fungus.
But hold on, 5% of a trillion is still, well a lot!
That’s hundreds of millions of sex-crazed insects flying around.
Virginia Tech professor of Entomology Doug Pfeiffer told Axios Richmond that Virginia is at the “very edge” of where Brood XIX will emerge.
In Virginia, they will likely be limited to just north of the North Carolina border, and east of I-95.
This means a Richmond sighting is very possible, according to Pfeiffer.
Urban development as a bulwark against the invasion
Urban development, and a lack of trees, can also affect where they emerge since they need trees to survive.
So, the massive development in many areas of the south will decrease the size of the cicada invasion.
And truth be told, cicadas aren’t as dangerous as many people fear – even these STD-infected “zombie” cicadas.
Despite their red eyes, insatiable hunger, and equally as insatiable sex drive, these cicadas are perfectly harmless to both humans and animals.
In fact, when they die, they end up enriching the soil with valuable nutrients.
Speaking of nutrients, many people are excited for the cicadas’ emergence as they have become a delicacy to some.
Pfeiffer says the timing of their emergence is contingent on soil temperatures.
It is predicted their emergence could begin as early as late April or early May, Pfeiffer said.
And the cicadas only stay around for about five to six weeks, singing their mating call and then mating, before they die off.
Then it will all be over, and we won’t see this particular cicada species for another 13 years.
As bad as this may seem, Virginia and most of the other Southern states won’t be hit with a “double brood” invasion.
For the first time in more than 200 years, two different broods of cicadas are expected to emerge from their underground hiding places simultaneously this spring, according to Axios’ Jacob Knutson.
Brood XIII, the 17-year vintage, will hit the Midwest at the same time as Brood XIX and many states will be faced with the full double brood.
In an already crazy election year, this was one issue no one saw coming.
Read All About It will keep you up-to-date on any developments to this ongoing story.
